As I'm reading these hurtful words from a stranger over and over, I know there are a few things that I want to tell her.
First let me say that just because my dream is not yours, it is not stupid.
My definition of success did not include a college degree. Your definition of success might include that, and I think that's amazing for you. Let me cheer you on!
Being a wife and mother is a very noble and important cause. I'm one of the women who is shaping our future, and sending out humans who know what's important and how to treat people."
Her response was nothing like I'd hoped for, but nothing that surprised me. She asked me,
"What's your fallback plan if you had to be the sole provider for your family? What if something happened to your husband and he was unable to work? A college degree sure is a nice thing to have in your back pocket."
I simply responded with a saying that I've told many preschoolers over the years (at my previous job).
"Worry about yourself. :)"
Oh, but she didn't stop there. This lovely lady was very keen on telling me all about how unimportant I am, how nice it must be that my husband pays the bills while I lay around the house, and how embarrassing it is to have no degree "in my pocket".
Even though this stranger hurt my feelings, I know that she must be coming from a place of hurt to attack me this way. So I took a deep breath, sent up a prayer, and texted my sister-in-law for some encouragement.
I'd love to share with you what she said that helped pick me back up.
"What you didn't tell her is that you came from a divorced, broken home when you were little and all you want is to create a home where your children know they have you for the next 5+ years.
Your husband considers it a joy to work hard for your family because he knows his son is getting raised by his momma.
You just became a stay at home mom, so it's totally just like the enemy to try to plant doubts and insecurity from day one."
I don't know what I would have done in this situation without these encouraging words! My sister also helped me to realize that everything this stranger had written was fear based.
Jesus calls us not to have a spirit of fear, but of courage (2 Timothy 1:7) and to look to him for provision. If I got a job or stayed at my last job out of fear, I would not be living in faith of what the Lord has called me to do. Also, when the commenter criticized me for giving up my identity to motherhood, I immediately thought,
"Oh no, sister. My identity is in christ. My calling is to be a mother."
That morning, the enemy tried to use this comment to plant doubt in my mind of my recent decision to be a SAHM. Instead, the Lord used it to encourage me that I have made the right decision; the decision that he gave me peace about; the decision that is best for me and my family.
This may be odd for a first blog post, and maybe it's not much of an introduction, but I felt that it shares my heart.
More than anything else, that's what I want this blog to be. I want to share with you my ups and downs, be vulnerable, connect with other moms, and use this as a creative outlet. I can pretty much promise you that there won't be many posts like this again. :) I try not to bring attention to things like this, but I absolutely plan to share about all the wonderful things that God is doing in my life!
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you continue to follow along with my story.