I'm nineteen years old, and I've just started my third semester of college. I'm in my math class that I'm taking for a second time because math was never my strong suit. My professor decides that on our first day of class, we should go around the room and share what career or degree we are pursuing. I was almost last, and I thought hard about my answer. I knew what I wanted to say, but I knew it wouldn't be anything like the other student's answers, so I tried hard to think of something else to say... but risking the embarrassment, I decided to be honest.
"I want to be a wife and mother."
Everyone laughed. Seriously, everyone laughed! My professor smiled and said to me, "So what are you doing here?".
That was my last semester of college. I was piling up debt and I knew that I didn't need a degree to do what I was passionate about.
Fast forward to today, I've been married for a year and a half, and I have a six month old baby. Yep, we got pregnant just six weeks after the wedding. I had a wonderful pregnancy and quite the journey during the delivery of my son (maybe that's a story for another day?) and now I am living my dream and navigating through motherhood.
Just this week, I'm officially a stay at home mom. I went back to work for about four months, and about a week in, I could tell this was going to be hard. I gave it time, hoping to adjust, but it just got harder because my heart wasn't in it anymore; my heart was at home with Luke.
Now that I'm entering this new season, I'm pouring my energy into my baby, my husband, and my home. That's why I decided to do this blog and start up some new social media pages. I want to use this as a creative outlet for me, and to connect with other women and mothers. So I decided to introduce myself on one of my instagram posts. I wrote about how my passion and dream was always to be a wife and momma.
I was engaged at 19. I was married at 20. I was a momma at 21.
I woke up this morning to a comment on this post, telling me all about how my decisions were irresponsible. I'm just laying at home in my pajamas, letting my husband pay the bills. This person wrote, "You only ever wanted to be just a wife and mom, and nothing else? You wanted to surrender your identity and let someone else do all the work and pay all your bills so you can stay home all day."
My heart was pounding, and I felt angry that this person would judge me so harshly from just a picture of my baby and I. I only experienced encouragement about becoming a SAHM, so this completely took me by surprise.
I wanted to give her a second chance. I wanted her to see how hurtful and judgemental she had been, but I wanted to do it in love.
This is something I could have ignored, but I decided to try and calm my anger, and come up with a response.
(Read upcoming post for Part Two)